


Lost hope (thank god I have you)

by OneWithoutAName



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: CherikWeek2020, Cuba, Dark Charles Xavier, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mind Control, Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Protective Charles Xavier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24506392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWithoutAName/pseuds/OneWithoutAName
Summary: They hadn’t known better, Charles had told himself when everything had come back to him weeks later, terrified of what he’d done. It wasn’t their fault. If they had known him better, they wouldn’t have tried to kill him. He promised then to play by their rules. If he didn’t give them a reason to mistrust him, then they would accept him. Moira had accepted him, accepted them. Trained with them. Lived with them. She knew them. And she didn’t think twice before she tried to shoot Erik.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 20
Kudos: 118
Collections: Cherik Week 2020





	Lost hope (thank god I have you)

When the missiles were heading towards them, Charles felt like he was standing on an edge, only a thin rope keeping him falling into abyss. Erik stopped the missiles with his powers. Charles’ thoughts were scattered. The missiles were moving again, turning back towards the ships. Every single mind was too loud, like everyone was screaming at him and he couldn’t reach the one mind he needed to.

“Erik, don’t do this.” He spoke, but the words sounded far away in his ears. Moira was running back from the crashed plane.

“Give me one good reason Charles.” Erik spoke. Moira lifted her gun, about to shoot. Charles acted before he fully realised what was happening. His mind zeroing on Moira’s. Why? Why would you do this? We fought with you. We fought to save you. Why? He was met with controlled fear and calculated action. Kill before he kills us. No questions asked. No chance to back out.

**_My dear God, what have we done? This is power we cannot control. Such a shame, all these years wasted. He’s a monster!_ ** _The voices of the doctors were loud in his mind. Except for Dr. Williams. His mind was silent as he was lying on the floor, blood sluggishly pouring from his nose, eyes and ears. He didn’t move. Charles felt like his head was about to split in two. He wanted to go home! **He’s too dangerous to live. We need to kill him.** No… No! He didn’t want to die! He’d done everything they had asked him to do! What his father had asked him to do! There was screaming. Maybe it was him, maybe it was the men outside the room, on the other side of the glass. He didn’t know. Soon it was quiet again. No voices, other than his own heartbeat in his ears. He was bleeding. He didn’t care. The doctors were dead. He didn’t care. His father was dead. He didn’t care. There was fire starting where one of the scientist had fallen down, causing some frail glass bottles full of unknown liquids break over electronics. He didn’t care. He took his father’s key card and left the building. He walked to his father’s car and told the driver to take him home, which he did without asking questions._

They hadn’t known better, Charles had told himself when everything had come back to him weeks later, terrified of what he’d done. It wasn’t their fault. If they had known him better, they wouldn’t have tried to kill him. He promised then to play by their rules. If he didn’t give them a reason to mistrust him, then they would accept him. Moira had accepted him, accepted them. Trained with them. Lived with them. She knew them. And she didn’t think twice before she tried to shoot Erik.

The cold betrayal burned the rope and Charles was falling.

“You’re right my friend.” Charles spoke, his voice deadly calm. Moira was screaming inside her head, telling him to let her go. He didn’t care. “They have showed us what they think.” At this point he turned to glance Moira before he turned back to Erik, who seemed to realise what Charles was doing, his features twisted with hate before his eyes from Moira to him and he schooled his features back to unfeeling mask. Maybe there was some feeling there, was he impressed? Proud? Charles couldn’t be sure when he still wore that helmet. “It’s our time to show what we think of them.” He told and nodded once, giving Erik his blessing to do what he needed to do.

There was not much left of the ships after the explosions. Not one soviet or USA soldier survived. Charles checked. Felt those who survived the blasts burn and drown. Now the only minds close to them were those in the beach. Shaw’s people, waiting anxiously what was to happen next and their X-Men, confused and conflicted from this turn of events. The former would gladly follow Erik, so would Raven, but the boys needed his guidance to be persuaded.

“I wanted to believe that the humans would accept us. I hoped for a world where we could live together without fear.” Charles spoke, distancing himself from raging emotions inside. He sounded not too different from the way he used to speak in front of a lecture hall. “But it’s not what they want. No matter what we do, no matter how many times we prove that we are not so different, they will let their fear control them. They won’t see us as equals. They will haunt us, imprison us, kill us.” He turned to look at Moira once more, not succeeding entirely to keep the chill from his voice. “Even those who you thought were your friends.”

Moira was still screaming, telling it was not true, that she would never hurt him or the kids. But those words were tainted with fear so strong it made Charles gag. He moved to stand in front of her and made her to give him her gun. She struggled. In vain. Charles’ hold on her mind was unyielding. He held the gun like it was tainted and moved it towards Erik, who effortlessly took it apart with his powers. Charles turned back to his team. Their thoughts echoed uncertainty, except for Raven’s, she was surprised, and impressed. “As Erik said, there is war coming and we need to fight together to win.” He enhanced his words with just a small telepathic nudge. If they were completely against the idea, it had no power over them, but if they were even considered his point of view, they were ready to join them.

“So,” Charles said as he stepped to stand beside Erik, who was standing couple meters in front of Moira, creating invisible line between them and humans. “-who’s with us?”

The members of Shaw’s team looked at each other, before they walked to them. Raven followed soon after, striding past Moira without looking at her. Charles smiled at her and she returned the smile, squeezing his hand before letting it go. The boys walked to them slower than others had, and Hank stopped for a brief moment, turning back to look at Moira.

“I know you want to think that she cares Hank, but if the CIA came after you, she would let them take you and you’d be the lab rat.” Charles spoke and when Hank still looked unsure, Raven stepped forward and took his hand.

“They could never accept you when you look like that. But we will.” She said gently. “Remember, mutant and proud.” For a moment Hank just stood there, looking Raven in the eyes, until he let out a growl like noise.

“Maybe one day I’ll be able to say that and mean it.” He said and let Raven pull him to their group.

Charles felt immense relief that they didn’t have to leave anyone behind. He looked around the group and addressed the red teleporter, Azazel, he read his name from the man’s mind.

“Can you take us all with you?” He asked.

“Just tell me where.” Azazel lifted his chin with pride for his power. Charles couldn’t deny that he was impressed. He nodded to the other man.

“Good. Just give me one moment.” And with that, he turned around and walked back to Moira. She was crying now, but any part of Charles that might have felt pity for her had been buried somewhere deep inside of him, if any even existed anymore. He brought his fingers on her temple. The gesture was cold, impersonal. She was begging for him not to do this, remembering moments they’d spent together. But her memories only made her betrayal worse.

“Tell your people a message if they come to get you.” He said as he started to cut into her mind. She screamed, but only in her mind as he worked. “If it is war you want, it’s war you’ll get.” Her screams died down as he finished his job, his own head feeling like it might burst from pressure inside. But he made it back to the group, leaving Moira standing there in the sand, her eyes glazed. There was nothing left of her. Just an empty shell with a message that she would repeat over and over again until the body would give up. He wanted them to know what kind of power they were trying to fight against. He wanted them to know that they had no chance to win. They had brought this on themselves.

Others were looking at him with mixed expressions, but he had no energy left for their questions. “We should go.” He said instead, keeping his voice from shaking and gave Azazel the location of the manor. They’d need to change their location soon, but for now, it would serve them as a place to rest. Azazel told them to hold onto each other, and Charles felt his hands being tugged, one by Raven, and the other by Erik. Erik who was still wearing the helmet. It was almost like he wasn’t there at all. Charles felt a shiver run through his spine.

The sensation of traveling through teleportation left Charles weak on the knees and he had to do everything in his power to not to throw up. They were at the hall of the manor, at the bottom of the stairs. Charles struggled to get his eyes open, he had to give some last orders. But suddenly there was strong hand on his shoulder, grounding him.

“Raven, show our new members to their rooms and give them a brief tour where everything is located. All of you should go and get some rest.” Erik told the others and Charles felt almost grateful enough to forgive him for shutting him out. “You did well today.” Erik continued after a brief pause and Charles forced himself to open his eyes and look at the others with a tired smile. He was so proud of them all.

The hand on his shoulder guided him upstairs and he had no energy left to protest. It wasn’t until they got to his room and he was sat on the bed when he found enough strength to speak his mind.

“This is not going to work if we don’t trust each other.” He met Erik’s eyes, the void where his mind should be made his heart ache. Erik frowned, lost in thought, before he slowly raised his hands and took off the helmet. The familiar echo of his mind made Charles gasp quietly as he basked in its glow.

“You surprised me today Charles.” Erik spoke as he put the helmet down on a bedside table before he sat beside Charles on the bed, their thigs touching and the warmth seeping through their suits. “I wasn’t sure you’d see things my way.” He confessed. His mind was spiral of wonder and love for Charles. It soothed the pain in the telepath’s mind and soul. Charles couldn’t blame him for thinking like that. Until now the telepath had done everything in his power to convince him that there was a way for them to live peacefully. Suddenly those thoughts seemed laughable to him.

“I didn’t want things to turn out like this.” He said, his voice nothing more but a whisper. “But when I heard Moira’s intentions… I couldn’t pretend that peace was an option any longer. She was our friend! And she-“, His voice broke. Everything that happened that day finally catching up to him. He buried his face in his hands, trying to calm his mind and soothe the pain in his head.

Erik’s arms were around him instantly.

“You’re shaking.” His fingers combed through his hair and paused on his forehead. His hand was pleasantly warm and Charles let out a small moan as it soothed his headache. “And cold.” Erik’s voice had an edge of worry.

“My head feels like it’s full of lead.” Charles managed to say and leaned against the other man’s body.

“Let’s get you out of this suit.” Erik murmured with gentle tone that he used only around Charles.

“You know I adore you, but I’m not sure I can go right now.” Charles slurred, but didn’t try to fight when Erik lied him down on the bed. His mind was on its way shutting down.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Charles.” Erik chuckled and zipped Charles’ suit open. “Trust me, you’ll feel more comfortable without it.” He moved Charles like a ragdoll, pulling his arms free from the tight sleeves. “This will go faster if you help.” He muttered, but by that point Charles’ upper body was already free from the suit.

“I think you’re doing just fine, my dear.” Charles muttered and if he was honest, he wasn’t sure if he was even able to move his muscles. He could almost hear Erik roll his eyes, but his hands continued to work, getting rid of Charles boots and then pulling the suit completely off, leaving the telepath lying there only in his underwear. The air on his skin felt unpleasantly cold and somewhere in his mind Charles processed that he was shaking slightly. Soon though, he was moved so he was lying properly on the bed and the covers were pulled over him. It helped a little, but the covers and pillow under his head were still cold.

He heard Erik move around the room, but couldn’t focus enough to tell what he was doing. He only knew that sometime later, a warm body pressed against his and he wrapped himself around Erik as much as he could. The other man was so warm and his mind open for Charles to curl there. He felt small kisses being pressed on his face and in Erik’s mind a relief soothing both of their minds. _We made it. We are alive. We are together. Always._ Charles let those thoughts lull him to sleep.


End file.
